Are you clean enough to throw the first stone?

How many of you have heard someone talking about what someone else is doing and they some something along the lines of, “ I mean, I know I’m not perfect, but at least I don’t do that.” And then how many of you have been that person that says that??

 
Let me get to raising my hands because I find myself saying that very often lol.

 

Why is that we have grace for ourselves and expect others to have grace for us, but we don’t have the grace for other people? Why is it that we judge them for the their sin that we publicly see, but we wouldn’t dare speak on the win that we privately participate in? Oops I’m sorry.. didn’t mean to step on any toes, excuse me.

 

But seriously though. We do something and it automatically becomes such a lesser sin than what someone else is doing. We condemn them of the things the they do, not taking into account of how we once were as a “Christian”.
We get in these groups and point out everyone else’s flaws and short comings and we say that there is no excuse to keep winning and that we can’t just keep saying “God knows our hearts” and all the others things we say to defend our actions, but what we fail to disclose is that by the end of the day, we will have gone home and done something that goes against the will of God.
True enough, as a Christian there is a certain stand we are to hold ourselves to. There’s things that we should and should not be doing and we know full well that the things we shouldn’t be doing are dead wrong.

 

But let me just say, instead of judging others, why not speak to them (if you feel convicted to do so and if it troubles you so). Help your fellow Christian. Offer assistance to help them with the areas you see them struggling.
We have to stop looking down our noses at others. We have to start looking at ourselves in the mirror first before we open our mouths.

 

Look at these 2 verses

 

(John 8:7) So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.
(Matthew 7:3-5) 3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

 

I’m just saying…. let’s stop looking down at other people because they sin differently than we do. All sin is sin right? So what makes your sin any less sinable (yes I made that up) than theirs?

 

Let’s practice love and truly help these people. Let’s not forget that we have all struggled with something in this walk. And this walk is a continual one. One that we should be renewing ourself in daily.

 

So I urge you, the next time you feel compelled to speak on someone else, take a good long hard in the mirror first.

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Women killing their children.

As I sit here, I am deeply saddened about several specific occurrences that have happened within the last few days, but these incidents are definitely nothing new. Yet, when they occur, you can’t help but to rack your brain wondering just what makes people do the things they do.

 

Scrolling through Facebook today, I came across a news article that someone shared. In Tampa Florida, it’s said that a woman named Shakayla Denson is faces charges of 1st degree murder, aggravated child abuse, and grand theft auto charges. According to the news article, Shakayla went into the river and released her 4 year old daughter into the river and walked away, and sadly her daughter died due to drowning. Click here for the full story

Now first, before I go any further, let me say that in NO WAY am I justifying or excusing parents who kill their children. In no way am I saying that it’s right, moral, or even normal to do so. But I do, however, want to look at these situations in other perspectives.

 

To begin looking at other perspectives, there are so many layers that can be pulled back. So much so, I’m not even sure where to start because where one ends I can find another that begins. But to get on with this article, I’ll start at the topic of being a single mother.

 

How many single mothers do you know? Maybe you’re a single mother yourself, and I know you’ve already said either aloud or in your head, just because I’m a single mother, I’d never do that, but let’s stick to the topic and place ourself outside of our own shoes.

 

It’s hard being a single mother. Many can attest to that. Just all the things that come with being a single mother, work, school, bills, raising kids, bearing all the responsibility, stress, being overwhelmed, struggling with your own issues and having to manage it all with a smile on your face and sanity still intact. Let’s take it biblically, God knew all the trouble that would come with having kids out of wedlock so that’s why we’re supposed to do it the correct way, marriage and then kids, but many of us have done it backwards, kids, kids, more kids, and no husband.

 

Is it worth the thought to think that maybe, just maybe, if there were complete households with both mother and father, that a mother wouldn’t feel that killing her child is the only way out? Is it safe to think about how these men leave and abandon their children and their responsibilities, leaving the woman to do it all on her own?

 

Is it worth the thought that some of mothers have things that have happened to them that they have yet the chance to sort out. Healing that they haven’t received. Mental disorders that are missed, therefore undiagnosed and untreated?

 

And while we’re on the subject of mental disorders, let’s speak on how do you even begin to address mental illness while being a parent, and the only thing that you can think of is what will happen to your children if you speak up about what you’re struggling with? The emotions you feel? How overwhelming things are for you? How do you start that conversation when society paints mental illness in such a negative way with all the stigmas? How do you start that conversation when society makes you feel that you have to be this perfect mother who never is to get angry, or frustrated, or overwhelmed, or feel anything negative in regards to your children?

 

So what happens is these women go under the radar, their illnesses unseen, and them behind closed doors struggling with no way of escape. There are just not enough resources in place for women until it’s too late, and when I say too late, I mean when CPS gets ahold of your children, and when that happens sadly, that makes a mother more inclined to keep things to herself in fear of losing her children if she hasn’t already lost them to the system.

 

Let’s talk about these mothers who bear all the weight of parenting on their own. The mothers who don’t have much support, the mothers who are out here simply trying to survive and trying to do the best that they can.
And yes, I know the obvious, you know what you’re subjecting yourself to when you lie down and have children, but let’s face it, most things you can’t even fathom until it’s happening to you. So what can us as a society do to help these children from becoming victims? What support is there that we can offer to mothers, especially single mothers? How can we help bring down the walls and let these mothers know that there is help out here and that they aren’t alone?

 

A research was conducted with the comparison of women who were accused of killing their child, and 4 out of 5 of those women were never married!!!
Which is not shocking to me at all because if you look outside the box and take into account the psychological aspect of things, it’s not hard to fathom what would make a mother tick and go off at the drop of a dime and kill her child.

 

Again let me say that in no way am I giving the green to so such a horrendous thing just because you’re a single mother. I’m just simply looking at things in another perspective and looking deeper into the possible things that make these women snap and then pose the question of what can be done so that these mothers have support and the help that they need.

 

Feel free to comment your opinions, answers and anything else. Please be respectful as well.

Words do hurt!!

Whoever said that “words don’t hurt”, they told a flat out lie!!!

 

Words can’t really cut deep. They can shake you to your core. They can undo every positive affirmation you have spoken over yourself. No matter how thick you think your skin is, I bet you have been hurt by a set of words before.

 

One thing that I can still hear echoing through my mind is when this dude told me, “I don’t like you, I’m not attracted to you, you’re the worst mistake I ever made in my whole life”!!! Yes you read that correctly. I’ll tell y’all about that story in another post, but for now, we’re going to stay on THIS topic.

 

Back to what he said… those words cut me so deep.

 

See, sometimes it’s more so about the person who said the words and not necessarily the words itself that was spoken. And other times, no matter who said it, it still hurts.

So what can we do??

 

First things first… does what THEY say align up to what God says about you?? Who does God say you are? What does God say about you in His word??

Secondly, just because they feel a certain way about you, does it make it true??

Thirdly, if it is true, can you change it?? If you cant, embrace it. No sense in being down about what you cannot change. Recite the serenity prayer everyday until you can come to terms with what you cannot change, and have the courage to change the things that you can.

Also know this. People are always going to have an opinion. They are always going to have their own personal thoughts and opinions about you, but that’s why it’s important to know who  truly are for yourself, because if you don’t know who you are, you’re giving others the permission to tell you who you are.

Going in circles

Have you ever felt that you were just going in circles?

Not just any kind of circle, but the circles that the Israelites had walked in for 40 years in the wilderness.

So again I ask, have you ever felt that you were just going in circles??

 

You know, the kind of circles where you KNOW YOU KNOW better! You know better than to entertain that dude because he reminds you of the last dude, that reminded you of all the dudes that you had given your heart and body to, that you knew didn’t mean you any good, and you knew God didn’t approve of it anyway.

You know, the kind of circles where you have been trying to walk this Christian walk for years, only to end up falling and straying away from God, then getting back on your walk and straying away again and again and again!

You know, the kind of circles where every new year you swear you’re going to do so much and cut so much out of your life but you fail and end up making the same resolutions every single year after!

Those kinds of circles.

 

It’s no fun whatsoever when you’re going around and around in circles. You begin to feel like a complete failure. You start comparing your life to others. You wonder why it seems to happen for them, but for you, you just can’t seem to get right. You start to feel like you’re worthless, like God somehow has made a mistake in your life.

I know all about going in circles, I can probably write a book about going in circles. I’ve traveled in circles so many times for so long, I’m surprised that I’m not dizzy.

I know it gets frustrating, but let me tell you this.

God knows exactly where we are in life. Sometimes he allows us to stay in a certain place until we get it right. Why would he promote you to the next level when you can’t even get this level right? God is waiting on you to get it together boo! He’s waiting on you to choose Him. He’s waiting on you to walk it like you talk it. He’s waiting on you to surrender your will, and accept His. He’s waiting on you to open up your heart and let him in. You let them dudes in without a second thought, so why can’t you let God in? No worries, I’m not judging, because I’ve been in your shoes many many times.

Don’t miss the lessons being so desperate to get to the destination!

I challenge you to sit down and have some quiet time. What is God trying to get you to see? What is he trying to teach you? What lesson do you keep failing? What areas of your life do you need to surrender to God? Have you surrendered them or are you still holding on tightly?

Don’t be like the Israelites. Don’t be stuck 40 years in the same place. Don’t keep going around in circles. Ask God to make it clear to you and then commit to doing whatever it is that you need to do to get to where God is leading you. Don’t be the one standing in your own way. Don’t keep ignoring God and then get mad at him cause you still stuck!

 

Hey Girl, Hey

 

 

Heyyyyyy Y’all!!!

Just wanted to welcome you all.

This is more than just a blog. This is a sisterhood.

This is a place you can come to get encouragement for your spirit when you’re feeling down.

This is a place you can come to when you need a good laugh.

This is a place you can come to, to know that you aren’t alone, because I guarantee you, 9 times out of 10, I been through it too girl.

This is a place you can come if you need to talk to someone about things going on that you may not feel comfortable sharing with others.

All in all, Saved & Poppin is a blog about faith, life, & girl talk.

Just because you’re saved don’t mean you can’t be poppin!!!